“You block your dream when you allow your fear to grow bigger than your faith.” ~ Mary Manin Morrissey
“The difference between a would-be author and a published author is the published author has audacity.” ~ Jennifer Manlowe
Fear can be a huge boulder in any writer’s path, preventing her or him from being able to see that there might be a way to work with, even capitalize on, its universality.
Fear has a way of throwing us off balance, making us feel uncertain and insecure, but it is not meant to discourage us. Its purpose is to notify us that we are taking steps away from our comfort zone and across that scary bridge that connects our old life with our new one.
It’s a good idea to remember that fear never goes away. But sometimes some of them shrink. I compare my fears to miserable, cave-dwelling Trolls under the bridge of possibility. They seem to make it their primary goal to keep me scared and preferring to wait on the familiar side of the bridge–the “safe” one I’ve known most of my life.
But, I believe that whenever we face our fear, we overcome an inner obstacle and move into new territory, both inside and out.
Many would-be authors let their fears keep them from embracing their writerly possibilities.
Which type of fear keeps you from fulfilling your writing goals?
Here is just a small sampling (based on my clients’ and my own experiences):
* Fear of change
* Fear we’ll be neglecting our other responsibilities (in the old days women could be arrested for being authors)
* Fear of the unknown
* Fear of failing
* Fear of succeeding
* Fear of being too old to be relevant or too young to write a memoir
* Fear of being seen as frivolous or vain
* Fear of losing money–knowing, in fact, there are no guarantees
* Fear of being broke
* Fear of having to BE an author, i.e., “Will I have to pump out books like Stephen King for the rest of my life?”
* Fear of not having what it takes (discipline, talent, passion, a compelling story to tell)
* Fear of being wrong (too many typos and grammatical errors)
* Fear of not being able to begin (or finish!)
* Fear of humiliation, worries of what friends, family or colleagues will think
* Fear of self-delusion; that your experiment as an author will appear to be grandiose, self-indulgent
* Fear that it’s all been said before
* Fear of being audacious, “How dare I think I have something unique or relevant to say!”
* Fear of no longer having this goal (dream?)
* Fear of a lawsuit or of physical retaliation (from those that think you’re really writing about them!); and finally, the biggest fear of them all:
* Fear of being ordinary (just another schmo on the bus).
The point of this list is for us to see that we all have fears! It’s called being a sentient (conscious) being.
If we don’t feel fear at all, we may be suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)–a kind of numbness born of frequent exposure to traumatic experiences. Of course, we could be sociopaths–people who have no capacity for empathizing with other living beings. But, my guess, most of us suffer from neither of these troubling conditions.
Instead, feeling fear is quite ordinary even for the Einsteins, Dr. Kings, Aung San Suu Kyis and Anne Franks of the world. The fact is, we all feel fear and wish we would not get stopped by this tedious truism of human existence. But I’m here to tell you that while there is no way around what scares us, everybody can find ways to move through their fears.
With great frequency, I say to my memoir clients and to myself: “Just keep walking! All dark tunnels have openings.”
While comfort with fear is a contradiction in terms, we can learn to honor our fear, recognizing its arrival, listening to its intelligence, and respecting it as a harbinger of transformation. Indeed, it informs us that what we are doing (or about to do) is significant. On this occasion, we truly care.
“Do or do not… there is no try.” ~ Yoda, Star Wars
I dare you readers who are writers to experiment with this four-pronged method for walking through fear:
(1) Circle an end date in your calendar when you would like to have a finished manuscript or poem that is ready for publication. This commitment tells your “inner writer” that you are taking it seriously and want to follow its dictates. I’ve found that making this mental promise a physical one, in writing, is a magical act; (2) Write any part of your first draft (keep this action very simple); (3) Tell a friend what you have accomplished thus far, (or write and tell me); then (4) Get back to it the next day.
Everything I have ever completed has been supported by this four-step method–from passing graduate exams in Hebrew, Spanish, French and Ancient Greek, to learning to fly on a Trapeze (just once, thank God!), to publishing seven books. And, I swear, I’m no genius!
“Say it, Do it, Report it, Repeat it.” ~ Molly Gordon, Accidental Entrepreneur and Master Certified Coach
When we work with our fears, we can take the focus off resisting them, thus freeing up a ton of energy. Think about trying to hold under water a helium balloon for most of your waking life. Such resistance might be a major reason we’re all so exhausted, have TMJ, or buckets of chronic neck and shoulder pain.
After we have made the commitment and taken action to complete our book or other writing, we will have evidence that fears can be walked through, perhaps even worked through, at least for today.
Jennifer Manlowe (PhD, CPC) is an author, speaker and Certified Publishing Coach. People who hire Jennifer want to authorize their voice through writing and publishing their memoirs.
“Memoir is about finding your voice. Whether your goal be a full length book or a personal essay, the end product is always the writer’s voice.” ~ Lynne Griffin
Set up a sample session through Dr. Manlowe’s website: http://AuthorizeU.com. Should you sign up to work with her, you will instantly receive her eBooks, Writing from Life and Getting Into Print.
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